1. |
Poor Jackself
02:18
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My own heart let me more have pity on; let
Me live to my sad self hereafter kind,
Charitable; not live this tormented mind
With this tormented mind tormenting yet.
I cast for comfort I can no more get
By groping round my comfortless, than blind
Eyes in their dark can day or thirst can find
Thirst's all-in-all in all a world of wet.
Soul, self; come, poor Jackself, I do advise
You, jaded, let be; call off thoughts awhile
Elsewhere; leave comfort root-room; let joy size
At God knows when to God knows what; whose smile
's not wrung, see you; unforeseen times rather — as skies
Betweenpie mountains — lights a lovely mile.
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2. |
What Bendrix Read
04:02
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I know some tricks, he's good at trade
Isn't it strange how pedantic what we call romantic?
I make him feel strong, he makes me feel seen
What do we owe to the ether? What are we but creatures?
He thinks I'm a fraud, suspects I'm a cheat
He wants me guilty: but he wants me!
And then you starts to haunt me.
I don't know how to love a man a little.
I don't know how to make my feelings small.
If I loved him once, that love remains a riddle
Because I don't know how to love a man a little.
I thought he was dead, under the door
And I believed in the Other; the Squandering Lover
I crouched on the floor, beside the bed
And for the first time, I trusted
It was the last day I lusted...
But he was alive: how I wished he were dead!
Then he'd be safe from my crushing,
dispirited touching.
I don't know how to love a man a little.
I don't know how to make my feelings small.
If I loved him once, that love remains a riddle
Because I don't know how to love a man a little.
I wanted them all, I wanted them each
Every man’s eye upon me - then you pressed in on me.
If you are love, if you are good, teach me to behave as I should,
Hang me to bleed on the dry wood.
What shall I say? What can I do?
All that I am is known by You
Grant him my peace, please, would You.
Bridge: I cannot love just a vapor.
You do not love only saints. x2
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3. |
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(By Alanna Boudreau, Scott Mulvahill, and Gabi Wilson)
We like Daniel in the den
Surrounded by these hungry lions
Looking in the jaws of the death
We reach for saving hands
No help will come from man
The Lord is coming
Well the Red Sea closin in
There's no safety in their mighty horses
Can you feel the driving wind
Behold the crashing waves
The Savior’s on his way
Coming coming hurry hurry
Bring us to the promised land
Glory Glory, we reach for saving hands
No help will come from man
The Lord is coming
All you people of the land
Bound beneath the weight of all your sorrow
Turn around while you still can
There's no guarantee you'll see tomorrow
The doors are open wide
Will you choose death or life
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4. |
Goodbye Stranger
04:10
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His hands lay like two tired lovers in his lap.
Twisting, turning, exchanging warmth instead of words.
His lips were blistered, I saw blood blossom where they cracked
A fleeting moment, the scent of lilacs on the wind.
I made some coffee, felt his eyes upon my jaw
We made some small-talk, he slowly opened on some hinge
No hint of conquest, no urge to pilfer from the well
Just souls outpouring, with all the ease of skippin’ stones.
Goodbye, stranger, goodbye stranger
I wish you all the best
Down the highway, long the biway
Be sure, boy, get some rest.
I ain’t easy, but I ain’t cold.
Come back this way when you’re feelin’ low.
A lonely hunter finds no great valour in the kill
In felling beauty, when human love is not at stake.
His daddy left them, to “fuck around and drink in peace.”
“We’ve turned out all right,” he said, and slowly closed upon some hinge.
BR:
I ain’t easy. But I ain’t cold.
So come back my way when you’re feelin’ low.
I ain’t easy. But I ain’t cold. Come back my way, come back home. Goodbye, stranger.
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5. |
Love Don't Make Moves
03:28
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I don’t know if there is sunshine enough
To take care of the love that’s growin’ inside of me
I don’t know if there’s a dam big enough
To prevent this fine flood from spillin’ right into the sea
And sometimes I wonder
if you saw inside of me
If you would pack up your bags,
Pack up all of your bags and leave.
But you say “Love don’t make moves.
Love don’t make moves.
Love don’t make moves like that.”
The rings around Saturn, they move in a pattern
that’s comic and cosmic: behold, nebulous harmony.
If rocks on a circuit can plot out their purpose
Why am I still pondering the purpose of gravity?
Sometimes I wonder
If you saw inside of me
If you would call up your mama,
And your friends,
to report a tragedy
But you say “Love don’t make moves.
Love don’t make moves.
Love don’t make moves like that.”
No no no no x2
BR: Thank you for kissin oh so slow.
Thank you for teachin me so tender.
Thank you for bringin’ me back home.
You are the man who makes me better.
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6. |
Dear Alcohol
03:58
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Dear alcohol, you’ve turned my soul a shade of gray
In confession father gently says
I should write a letter to what makes me angry.
So dear alcohol, here’s my penance in epistle form.
Here’s my prayer departing from the norm.
You can go to hell: I guess I’m getting somewhere.
Dear alcohol, you taught me how to camouflage.
How to turn my eyes and how to dodge
How to make believe things never even happened
Dear alcohol, you made yourself a nightly guest
Poisoned countless words with scorn unchecked
Words you can’t recall, words I can’t rinse off of me.
Dear alcohol, you thrive on wounded mem’ries old.
Teach a child conflict means control.
Plant a seed of fear and water it with anger.
Dear alcohol, you thought you had me in your arms.
thought you’d wooed me with resentment’s charms.
But I know you’re only as strong as I make you.
Dear alcohol, you’ll never know a mother’s heart.
Never change a father’s chosen part.
You’ll never know a brother, sister, lover.
And I pity you. I pity you, you bastard leech.
I pity you. Dear alcohol, I pity you.
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7. |
Red Raw Rolling
05:01
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My heart is a circus, my heart is ravenous and wild
I know I have hurt us, but darling, becoming takes awhile
I didn’t ask for the painful memories of my past
I don’t know why, it’s the damn darkest ones that last
Just stand beside me in the park, hold my hand as it gets dark
And stay awhile, just stay.
Come and wander through these woods, my heart is broken but it’s good
And stay awhile, just stay.
If I was a painting of a girl in filament of gold
A motionless maiden, demure, worshipful and cold
I think you’d miss me, and the red raw rolling of my mind
You might feel safer, but I know you’d feel less than alive.
Most men have a weakness for a wide-eyed Susan with a smile
And most girls share their secrets so to feel desired for a while
I will not be the wings to your fantasy flight
I will resist you, and the tension with jar you back to life.
(stay, stay. Just stay, stay. Just stay. Just stay.)
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8. |
Warm Breast Bright Wings
03:45
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[warm breast, bright wings. Holy ghost, brooding over everything] x3
The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs —
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
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9. |
Gigue
02:16
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Dust to dust, portrait or bust
We find all kinds of desperate ways
To capture youth with paint or clay
While breath by breath we fade away
Sister time she bends the spine
With gentle hands, and gentle smile
She turns the dial, while all the while
She eyes a plot and sorts a pile.
Mis-en-scene, push play, pretend
Repent, resent, sweet opulence
The she-wolf brings such heaviness
And pants with labored, savage breath
I woke up somewhere in-between
Within a wood more black than green
Such wails and sighs from yonder trees
Had they been human once, like me?
And here a sign, etched cold and clear
“Abandon hope, who enter here”
The Primal Love that casts out fear
Has ways so strange, nay, so severe!
O, lasso! O, lasso!
Shadowlands, broad Sculptor hands
Minerva breathes, and losing Me
You tempt the deep, the ruse called sleep
And pass the Muses on the sea.
The souls of those who weakly praised
Who never damned nor banner raised
The ones who never claimed a side
Are tossed within their spineless tide
Their dumbness on the part of love
Has sewn their mouths with wire shut
The ones who envy others joys
Who sowed discord with word and loins
O, lasso! O, lasso!
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10. |
Horrenda Noche
04:37
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Sometimes when I am faced
With the apparent emptiness of you:
I fear I will lose my nerve.
I fear I will lose my nerve.
Michael, he loves you, can’t you tell?
But he’s been cryin’, at the bottom of an echoing well.
Michael, he rides the southbound train
He’s reading Hitchens, now, and he’s burnin’ up with rage.
And he fears he will lose his nerve.
He fears he will lose his nerve.
Agnes, she rings the Vespers bell.
She wears a white veil, long - skin perfect as a shell.
Agnes, she loved an honest man
She lives in silence, now: folded lily, folded hands.
She fears she will lose her nerve.
She fears she will lose her nerve.
How nice, how profound of me
To think such probing thoughts;
And not a callous on my knee.
All hail mediocrity.
Sweet, clement impartiality.
Dear God: grant me honesty.
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